I feel that I have changed and this scares me because I don't know what this change means and what scares me most is that I feel it's only the beginning. I have a strong need to move forward. To move out from my parents house (yeah I know it's pathetic I am 25 and I am still living with my parents) and to go and live on my own. To take responsibilities, to start a new life. A life that I've always dreamed of but now I am to scared to live it.
I am scared to leave my comfort zone, my pink bubble but on the other hand I feel that I have no choice. I NEED to do that. It's like I am in a crossroad but I know that all roads lead to independence. They lead to the new me.
What scares me most are the people that I am gonna meet. You see I was always hanging out with the "good" people and I was always avoiding the ones that would be a bad influence. I guess my parents did a really good job but to be honest they didn't have to try hard, I was kinda like that on my own.
But this changed when I was in London. I wanted to have fun and so I was hanging out with people that I wouldn't normally hang out. I had a great time and I don't regret anything (don't worry I was always cautious and never did anything stupid) but then again that scared me - I keep repeating this word...interesting.
I think that it scared me because in my mind if you hang out with the wrong people, you will end up doing the wrong things and eventually your life will get a wrong turn. I wish I could have someone to talk about these things. Someone open-minded. But not with someone who lives in a bubble.
I guess if you want to live your life to the fullest you have to take some wrong turns. It's the only way to appreciate the good and to get to know yourself more. Just try these wrong turns to be short and to learn from them so that you won't repeat them.
All I can do now and in the future is to trust myself. Although I don't feel like that now, deep down I know that I have a strong character who will step in whenever I need to and help me make the right choices.
It's a scary thing to grow up as a person..It's a scary thing to change..
I am scared to leave my comfort zone, my pink bubble but on the other hand I feel that I have no choice. I NEED to do that. It's like I am in a crossroad but I know that all roads lead to independence. They lead to the new me.
What scares me most are the people that I am gonna meet. You see I was always hanging out with the "good" people and I was always avoiding the ones that would be a bad influence. I guess my parents did a really good job but to be honest they didn't have to try hard, I was kinda like that on my own.
But this changed when I was in London. I wanted to have fun and so I was hanging out with people that I wouldn't normally hang out. I had a great time and I don't regret anything (don't worry I was always cautious and never did anything stupid) but then again that scared me - I keep repeating this word...interesting.
I think that it scared me because in my mind if you hang out with the wrong people, you will end up doing the wrong things and eventually your life will get a wrong turn. I wish I could have someone to talk about these things. Someone open-minded. But not with someone who lives in a bubble.
I guess if you want to live your life to the fullest you have to take some wrong turns. It's the only way to appreciate the good and to get to know yourself more. Just try these wrong turns to be short and to learn from them so that you won't repeat them.
All I can do now and in the future is to trust myself. Although I don't feel like that now, deep down I know that I have a strong character who will step in whenever I need to and help me make the right choices.
It's a scary thing to grow up as a person..It's a scary thing to change..
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